I'm now sitting in a library of Victoria, don't know what to do/ where to go.
The excitement in the beginning is half gone. Also, since the school has sightseeing tours, I better not to wander.
Kinda regret to get there so soon.
It's nothing to do with Victoria, just things are not running that smooth.
Still, I met nice/ friendly people.
There're so many Cantonese.
2011年7月30日星期六
2011年7月27日星期三
Starting to adapt
So, I've already been there for around four days.
Things are getting smoother lately: my stomach don't complain that much, the jatlag thing is better, I started to figure out the transportation system there, know some new friends, n so on...
People there is mostly helpful n nice, they will approach n ask whether you need help, "thank you" n "sorry" are words that appear quite often.
Nice place for vacation.
Yesterday:
Jo: Hi.
Me: Hi... I'm done, just wait for you.
Jo: Oh, you're done, ok =]
When I was walking to my room, I realized I'm NOT done! I'VE done...
Anyway, she understood.
Things are getting smoother lately: my stomach don't complain that much, the jatlag thing is better, I started to figure out the transportation system there, know some new friends, n so on...
People there is mostly helpful n nice, they will approach n ask whether you need help, "thank you" n "sorry" are words that appear quite often.
Nice place for vacation.
Yesterday:
Jo: Hi.
Me: Hi... I'm done, just wait for you.
Jo: Oh, you're done, ok =]
When I was walking to my room, I realized I'm NOT done! I'VE done...
Anyway, she understood.
 |
| Sunset Beach |
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| Vancouver Library |
 |
| Street art? |
2011年7月25日星期一
1st day in Vancouver
Save the trouble for finding a way of Chinese typing, I'll just use my limited English to write.
Arrived vancouver safetly yesterday, everything's fine except my spoken english n what happened this morning-- I've heard that there was a man holding a gun next to my hostel (don't know did anyone hurt or other details), and it happened just 20mins or so before I got back to the hostel. The fact is, I had passed the hostel few mins back to take photos before really get back to it, so it seems quite "close" to me.
Suddenly not feeling so well this afternoon, my stomach complains, and I feel like vomit. I wonder whether it's the food, (I now realised how unadaptable I am, I miss rice!) the weather or my own problem, (jetlag?) but I definitely don't wanna fall sick at the first few days in vancouver. You know, physically unwell can make one weak psychologically, I can't stop crying in a cafe, feeling sorry for myself.
Arrived vancouver safetly yesterday, everything's fine except my spoken english n what happened this morning-- I've heard that there was a man holding a gun next to my hostel (don't know did anyone hurt or other details), and it happened just 20mins or so before I got back to the hostel. The fact is, I had passed the hostel few mins back to take photos before really get back to it, so it seems quite "close" to me.
Suddenly not feeling so well this afternoon, my stomach complains, and I feel like vomit. I wonder whether it's the food, (I now realised how unadaptable I am, I miss rice!) the weather or my own problem, (jetlag?) but I definitely don't wanna fall sick at the first few days in vancouver. You know, physically unwell can make one weak psychologically, I can't stop crying in a cafe, feeling sorry for myself.
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| The Cambie Hostel |
2011年7月22日星期五
.書展
一早回校拿 Cert. ，然後出發到書展。
到的時間早，人較少。這樣很好，我不喜與人爭路。
逛到中午，咬著三文治上四樓聽講座，還拿到<末日酒店>的簽名。
是個頗有魅力的人，講著說著似乎有點激動。
可能她只是鼻敏感吧？但我還是覺得，如果能被自己的文字感動，那真是再動人不過了。
之後繼續逛。
收穫豐富，但心情矛盾。
一個參展攤位的一格放了一堆促銷書，就像一群棄兒。
直覺書不應該受這樣的對待。
為甚麼？我說不出。
我替他們感到難堪，看著他們赤祼祼的任人挑選，又想到作者的心情。
他們因種種原因不受大眾歡迎，可能其貌不揚、或許內涵不足，卻都是父母的心血。(假定作者都用心寫作。)
但我比其他人更差。
如果你只是為之抱不平，卻沒有實際行動，感覺就有點假猩猩了。
Anyway，書展還是彼等窮苦學生的購書地。
不知是累還是太重，
感覺是用幾張紙換一疊紙。
到的時間早，人較少。這樣很好，我不喜與人爭路。
 |
| 東逛西走，流離到文藝廊。 |
 |
| 原來西西會縫熊。 |
逛到中午，咬著三文治上四樓聽講座，還拿到<末日酒店>的簽名。
 |
| 21/7 小說語言的隱密：黃碧雲。 |
是個頗有魅力的人，講著說著似乎有點激動。
可能她只是鼻敏感吧？但我還是覺得，如果能被自己的文字感動，那真是再動人不過了。
之後繼續逛。
收穫豐富，但心情矛盾。
一個參展攤位的一格放了一堆促銷書，就像一群棄兒。
直覺書不應該受這樣的對待。
為甚麼？我說不出。
我替他們感到難堪，看著他們赤祼祼的任人挑選，又想到作者的心情。
他們因種種原因不受大眾歡迎，可能其貌不揚、或許內涵不足，卻都是父母的心血。(假定作者都用心寫作。)
但我比其他人更差。
如果你只是為之抱不平，卻沒有實際行動，感覺就有點假猩猩了。
Anyway，書展還是彼等窮苦學生的購書地。
 |
| 還是買了不少。 |
不知是累還是太重，
感覺是用幾張紙換一疊紙。
2011年7月19日星期二
Breakazine! 014 《出走旅行》試閱版
http://issuu.com/breakazine/docs/breakazine014
「全世界都面對新移民的問題。香港人視新移民為外來者，是搶奪資源的，不應得到6000元；但在西班牙，一個香港人可以免費讀當地的大學，沒有說你是外來者搶走資源。」
「全世界都面對新移民的問題。香港人視新移民為外來者，是搶奪資源的，不應得到6000元；但在西班牙，一個香港人可以免費讀當地的大學，沒有說你是外來者搶走資源。」
2011年7月18日星期一
村上春樹：永遠站在雞蛋的一側
原來雞蛋與高牆出自村上春樹耶路撒冷文學獎的感言。
I have come to Jerusalem today as a novelist, which is to say as a professional spinner of lies.
Of course, novelists are not the only ones who tell lies. Politicians do it, too, as we all know. Diplomats and military men tell their own kinds of lies on occasion, as do used car salesmen, butchers and builders. The lies of novelists differ from others, however, in that no one criticizes the novelist as immoral for telling them. Indeed, the bigger and better his lies and the more ingeniously he creates them, the more he is likely to be praised by the public and the critics. Why should that be?
我是以小說家的身份來到耶路撒冷，也就是說，我的身份是一個專業的謊言編織者。當然，說謊的不只是小說家。我們都知道，政客也會。外交人員和軍人有時也會被迫說謊，二手車業務員，屠夫和工人也不例外。不過，小說家的謊言和其他人不同的地方在於，沒有人會用道德標準去苛責小說家的謊言。事實上，小說家的謊言說的越努力，越大、越好，批評家和大眾越會讚賞他。為什麼呢？
My answer would be this: Namely, that by telling skillful lies - which is to say, by making up fictions that appear to be true - the novelist can bring a truth out to a new location and shine a new light on it. In most cases, it is virtually impossible to grasp a truth in its original form and depict it accurately. This is why we try to grab its tail by luring the truth from its hiding place, transferring it to a fictional location, and replacing it with a fictional form. In order to accomplish this, however, we first have to clarify where the truth lies within us. This is an important qualification for making up good lies.
我的答案是這樣的：藉由傳述高超的謊言；也就是創造出看來彷彿真實的小說情節，小說家可以將真實帶到新的疆域，將新的光明照耀其上。在大多數的案例中，我們幾乎不可能捕捉真理，並且精準的描繪它。因此，我們才必須要將真理從它的藏匿處誘出，轉化到另一個想像的場景，轉換成另一個想像的形體。不過，為了達成這個目的，我們必須先弄清楚真理到底在自己體內的何處。要編出好的謊言，這是必要的。
Today, however, I have no intention of lying. I will try to be as honest as I can. There are a few days in the year when I do not engage in telling lies, and today happens to be one of them.
不過，今天，我不準備說謊。我會盡可能的誠實。一年之中只有幾天我不會撒謊，今天剛好是其中一天。
So let me tell you the truth. A fair number of people advised me not to come here to accept the Jerusalem Prize. Some even warned me they would instigate a boycott of my books if I came.
The reason for this, of course, was the fierce battle that was raging in Gaza. The UN reported that more than a thousand people had lost their lives in the blockaded Gaza City, many of them unarmed citizens - children and old people.
讓我老實說吧。許多人建議我今天不應該來此接受耶路撒冷文學獎。有些人甚至警告我，如果我敢來，他們就會杯葛我的作品。會這樣的原因，當然是因為加薩走廊正發生的這場激烈的戰鬥。根據聯合國的調查，在被封鎖的加薩城中超過一千人喪生，許多人是手無寸鐵的平民，包括了兒童和老人。
Any number of times after receiving notice of the award, I asked myself whether traveling to Israel at a time like this and accepting a literary prize was the proper thing to do, whether this would create the impression that I supported one side in the conflict, that I endorsed the policies of a nation that chose to unleash its overwhelming military power. This is an impression, of course, that I would not wish to give. I do not approve of any war, and I do not support any nation. Neither, of course, do I wish to see my books subjected to a boycott.
在收到獲獎通知之後，我自問：在此時前往以色列接受這文學獎是否是一個正確的行為。這會不會讓人以為我支持衝突中的某一方，或者認為我支持一個選擇發動壓倒性武力的國家政策。當然，我不希望讓人有這樣的印象。我不贊同任何戰爭，我也不支持任何國家。同樣的，我也不希望看到自己的書被杯葛。
Finally, however, after careful consideration, I made up my mind to come here. One reason for my decision was that all too many people advised me not to do it. Perhaps, like many other novelists, I tend to do the exact opposite of what I am told. If people are telling me - and especially if they are warning me - "don't go there," "don't do that," I tend to want to "go there" and "do that." It's in my nature, you might say, as a novelist. Novelists are a special breed. They cannot genuinely trust anything they have not seen with their own eyes or touched with their own hands.
最後，在經過審慎的考量之後，我終於決定來此。其中一個原因是因為有太多人反對我前來參與了。或許，我就像許多其他的小說家一樣，天生有著反骨。如果人們告訴我，特別是警告我：「千萬別去那邊，」「千萬別這麼做，」我通常會想要「去那邊」和「這麼做」。你可以說這就是我身為小說家的天性。小說家是種很特別的人。他們一定要親眼所見、親手所觸才願意相信。
And that is why I am here. I chose to come here rather than stay away. I chose to see for myself rather than not to see. I chose to speak to you rather than to say nothing.
所以我來到此地。我選擇親身參與，而不是退縮逃避。我選擇親眼目睹，而不是蒙蔽雙眼。我選擇開口說話，而不是沈默不語。
This is not to say that I am here to deliver a political message. To make judgments about right and wrong is one of the novelist's most important duties, of course.
這並不代表我要發表任何政治信息。判斷對錯當然是小說家最重要的責任。
It is left to each writer, however, to decide upon the form in which he or she will convey those judgments to others. I myself prefer to transform them into stories - stories that tend toward the surreal. Which is why I do not intend to stand before you today delivering a direct political message.
要如何將這樣的判斷傳遞給他人，則是每個作家的選擇。我自己喜歡利用故事，傾向超現實的故事。因此，我今日才不會在各位面前發表任何直接的政治訊息。
Please do, however, allow me to deliver one very personal message. It is something that I always keep in mind while I am writing fiction. I have never gone so far as to write it on a piece of paper and paste it to the wall: Rather, it is carved into the wall of my mind, and it goes something like this:
不過，請各位容許我發表一個非常個人的訊息。這是我在撰寫小說時總是牢記在心的。我從來沒有真的將其形諸於文字或是貼在牆上。我將它雋刻在我內心的牆上，這句話是這樣說的：
"Between a high, solid wall and an egg that breaks against it, I will always stand on the side of the egg."
「若要在高聳的堅牆與以卵擊石的雞蛋之間作選擇，我永遠會選擇站在雞蛋那一邊。」
Yes, no matter how right the wall may be and how wrong the egg, I will stand with the egg. Someone else will have to decide what is right and what is wrong; perhaps time or history will decide. If there were a novelist who, for whatever reason, wrote works standing with the wall, of what value would such works be?
是的。不管那高牆多麼的正當，那雞蛋多麼的咎由自取，我總是會站在雞蛋那一邊。就讓其他人來決定是非，或許時間或是歷史會下判斷。但若一個小說家選擇寫出站在高牆那一方的作品，不論他有任何理由，這作品的價值何在？
What is the meaning of this metaphor? In some cases, it is all too simple and clear. Bombers and tanks and rockets and white phosphorus shells are that high, solid wall. The eggs are the unarmed civilians who are crushed and burned and shot by them. This is one meaning of the metaphor.
這代表什麼？在大多數的狀況下，這是很顯而易見的。轟炸機、戰車、火箭與白磷彈是那堵高牆。被壓碎、燒焦、射殺的手無寸鐵的平民則是雞蛋。這是這比喻的一個角度。
This is not all, though. It carries a deeper meaning. Think of it this way. Each of us is, more or less, an egg. Each of us is a unique, irreplaceable soul enclosed in a fragile shell. This is true of me, and it is true of each of you. And each of us, to a greater or lesser degree, is confronting a high, solid wall. The wall has a name: It is The System. The System is supposed to protect us, but sometimes it takes on a life of its own, and then it begins to kill us and cause us to kill others - coldly, efficiently, systematically.
不過，並不是只有一個角度，還有更深的思考。這樣想吧。我們每個人或多或少都是一顆雞蛋。我們都是獨一無二，裝在脆弱容器理的靈魂。對我來說是如此，對諸位來說也是一樣。我們每個人也或多或少，必須面對一堵高牆。這高牆的名字叫做體制。體制本該保護我們，但有時它卻自作主張，開始殘殺我們，甚至讓我們冷血、有效，系統化的殘殺別人。
I have only one reason to write novels, and that is to bring the dignity of the individual soul to the surface and shine a light upon it. The purpose of a story is to sound an alarm, to keep a light trained on The System in order to prevent it from tangling our souls in its web and demeaning them. I fully believe it is the novelist's job to keep trying to clarify the uniqueness of each individual soul by writing stories - stories of life and death, stories of love, stories that make people cry and quake with fear and shake with laughter. This is why we go on, day after day, concocting fictions with utter seriousness.
我寫小說只有一個理由。那就是將個體的靈魂尊嚴暴露在光明之下。故事的目的是在警醒世人，將一道光束照在體系上，避免它將我們的靈魂吞沒，剝奪靈魂的意義。我深信小說家就該揭露每個靈魂的獨特性，藉由故事來釐清它。用生與死的故事，愛的故事，讓人們落淚的故事，讓人們因恐懼而顫抖的故事，讓人們歡笑顫動的故事。這才是我們日復一日嚴肅編織小說的原因。
My father died last year at the age of 90. He was a retired teacher and a part-time Buddhist priest. When he was in graduate school, he was drafted into the army and sent to fight in China. As a child born after the war, I used to see him every morning before breakfast offering up long, deeply-felt prayers at the Buddhist altar in our house. One time I asked him why he did this, and he told me he was praying for the people who had died in the war.
先父在九十歲時過世。他是個退休的教師，兼職的佛教法師。當他在研究所就讀時，他被強制徵召去中國參戰。身為一個戰後出身的小孩，我曾經看著他每天晨起在餐前，於我們家的佛壇前深深的向佛祖祈禱。有次我問他為什麼要這樣做，他告訴我他在替那些死於戰爭中的人們祈禱。
He was praying for all the people who died, he said, both ally and enemy alike. Staring at his back as he knelt at the altar, I seemed to feel the shadow of death hovering around him.
他說，他在替所有犧牲的人們祈禱，包括戰友，包括敵人。看著他跪在佛壇前的背影，我似乎可以看見死亡的陰影包圍著他。
My father died, and with him he took his memories, memories that I can never know. But the presence of death that lurked about him remains in my own memory. It is one of the few things I carry on from him, and one of the most important.
我的父親過世時帶走了他的記憶，我永遠沒機會知道一切。但那被死亡包圍的背影留在我的記憶中。這是我從他身上繼承的少數幾件事物，也是最重要的事物。
I have only one thing I hope to convey to you today. We are all human beings, individuals transcending nationality and race and religion, fragile eggs faced with a solid wall called The System. To all appearances, we have no hope of winning. The wall is too high, too strong - and too cold. If we have any hope of victory at all, it will have to come from our believing in the utter uniqueness and irreplaceability of our own and others' souls and from the warmth we gain by joining souls together.
我今日只想對你傳達一件事。我們都是人類，超越國籍、種族和宗教，都只是一個面對名為體制的堅實高牆的一枚脆弱雞蛋。不論從任何角度來看，我們都毫無勝機。高牆太高、太堅硬，太冰冷。唯一勝過它的可能性只有來自我們將靈魂結為一體，全心相信每個人的獨特和不可取代性所產生的溫暖。
Take a moment to think about this. Each of us possesses a tangible, living soul. The System has no such thing. We must not allow The System to exploit us. We must not allow The System to take on a life of its own. The System did not make us: We made The System.
請各位停下來想一想。我們每個人都擁有一個獨特的，活生生的靈魂。體制卻沒有。我們不能容許體制踐踏我們。我們不能容許體制自行其是。體制並沒有創造我們：是我們創造了體制。
That is all I have to say to you.
這就是我要對各位說的。
I am grateful to have been awarded the Jerusalem Prize. I am grateful that my books are being read by people in many parts of the world. And I am glad to have had the opportunity to speak to you here today.
我很感謝能夠獲得耶路撒冷文學獎。我很感謝世界各地有那麼多的讀者。我很高興有機會向各位發表演說。
Thank you.
謝謝
伸延：
本文來源
高牆與卵：村上春樹耶路撒冷文學獎演說(3)-用語解說
村上春樹小說的情感世界
Always on the side of the egg
By Haruki Murakami
I have come to Jerusalem today as a novelist, which is to say as a professional spinner of lies.
Of course, novelists are not the only ones who tell lies. Politicians do it, too, as we all know. Diplomats and military men tell their own kinds of lies on occasion, as do used car salesmen, butchers and builders. The lies of novelists differ from others, however, in that no one criticizes the novelist as immoral for telling them. Indeed, the bigger and better his lies and the more ingeniously he creates them, the more he is likely to be praised by the public and the critics. Why should that be?
我是以小說家的身份來到耶路撒冷，也就是說，我的身份是一個專業的謊言編織者。當然，說謊的不只是小說家。我們都知道，政客也會。外交人員和軍人有時也會被迫說謊，二手車業務員，屠夫和工人也不例外。不過，小說家的謊言和其他人不同的地方在於，沒有人會用道德標準去苛責小說家的謊言。事實上，小說家的謊言說的越努力，越大、越好，批評家和大眾越會讚賞他。為什麼呢？
My answer would be this: Namely, that by telling skillful lies - which is to say, by making up fictions that appear to be true - the novelist can bring a truth out to a new location and shine a new light on it. In most cases, it is virtually impossible to grasp a truth in its original form and depict it accurately. This is why we try to grab its tail by luring the truth from its hiding place, transferring it to a fictional location, and replacing it with a fictional form. In order to accomplish this, however, we first have to clarify where the truth lies within us. This is an important qualification for making up good lies.
我的答案是這樣的：藉由傳述高超的謊言；也就是創造出看來彷彿真實的小說情節，小說家可以將真實帶到新的疆域，將新的光明照耀其上。在大多數的案例中，我們幾乎不可能捕捉真理，並且精準的描繪它。因此，我們才必須要將真理從它的藏匿處誘出，轉化到另一個想像的場景，轉換成另一個想像的形體。不過，為了達成這個目的，我們必須先弄清楚真理到底在自己體內的何處。要編出好的謊言，這是必要的。
Today, however, I have no intention of lying. I will try to be as honest as I can. There are a few days in the year when I do not engage in telling lies, and today happens to be one of them.
不過，今天，我不準備說謊。我會盡可能的誠實。一年之中只有幾天我不會撒謊，今天剛好是其中一天。
So let me tell you the truth. A fair number of people advised me not to come here to accept the Jerusalem Prize. Some even warned me they would instigate a boycott of my books if I came.
The reason for this, of course, was the fierce battle that was raging in Gaza. The UN reported that more than a thousand people had lost their lives in the blockaded Gaza City, many of them unarmed citizens - children and old people.
讓我老實說吧。許多人建議我今天不應該來此接受耶路撒冷文學獎。有些人甚至警告我，如果我敢來，他們就會杯葛我的作品。會這樣的原因，當然是因為加薩走廊正發生的這場激烈的戰鬥。根據聯合國的調查，在被封鎖的加薩城中超過一千人喪生，許多人是手無寸鐵的平民，包括了兒童和老人。
Any number of times after receiving notice of the award, I asked myself whether traveling to Israel at a time like this and accepting a literary prize was the proper thing to do, whether this would create the impression that I supported one side in the conflict, that I endorsed the policies of a nation that chose to unleash its overwhelming military power. This is an impression, of course, that I would not wish to give. I do not approve of any war, and I do not support any nation. Neither, of course, do I wish to see my books subjected to a boycott.
在收到獲獎通知之後，我自問：在此時前往以色列接受這文學獎是否是一個正確的行為。這會不會讓人以為我支持衝突中的某一方，或者認為我支持一個選擇發動壓倒性武力的國家政策。當然，我不希望讓人有這樣的印象。我不贊同任何戰爭，我也不支持任何國家。同樣的，我也不希望看到自己的書被杯葛。
Finally, however, after careful consideration, I made up my mind to come here. One reason for my decision was that all too many people advised me not to do it. Perhaps, like many other novelists, I tend to do the exact opposite of what I am told. If people are telling me - and especially if they are warning me - "don't go there," "don't do that," I tend to want to "go there" and "do that." It's in my nature, you might say, as a novelist. Novelists are a special breed. They cannot genuinely trust anything they have not seen with their own eyes or touched with their own hands.
最後，在經過審慎的考量之後，我終於決定來此。其中一個原因是因為有太多人反對我前來參與了。或許，我就像許多其他的小說家一樣，天生有著反骨。如果人們告訴我，特別是警告我：「千萬別去那邊，」「千萬別這麼做，」我通常會想要「去那邊」和「這麼做」。你可以說這就是我身為小說家的天性。小說家是種很特別的人。他們一定要親眼所見、親手所觸才願意相信。
And that is why I am here. I chose to come here rather than stay away. I chose to see for myself rather than not to see. I chose to speak to you rather than to say nothing.
所以我來到此地。我選擇親身參與，而不是退縮逃避。我選擇親眼目睹，而不是蒙蔽雙眼。我選擇開口說話，而不是沈默不語。
This is not to say that I am here to deliver a political message. To make judgments about right and wrong is one of the novelist's most important duties, of course.
這並不代表我要發表任何政治信息。判斷對錯當然是小說家最重要的責任。
It is left to each writer, however, to decide upon the form in which he or she will convey those judgments to others. I myself prefer to transform them into stories - stories that tend toward the surreal. Which is why I do not intend to stand before you today delivering a direct political message.
要如何將這樣的判斷傳遞給他人，則是每個作家的選擇。我自己喜歡利用故事，傾向超現實的故事。因此，我今日才不會在各位面前發表任何直接的政治訊息。
Please do, however, allow me to deliver one very personal message. It is something that I always keep in mind while I am writing fiction. I have never gone so far as to write it on a piece of paper and paste it to the wall: Rather, it is carved into the wall of my mind, and it goes something like this:
不過，請各位容許我發表一個非常個人的訊息。這是我在撰寫小說時總是牢記在心的。我從來沒有真的將其形諸於文字或是貼在牆上。我將它雋刻在我內心的牆上，這句話是這樣說的：
"Between a high, solid wall and an egg that breaks against it, I will always stand on the side of the egg."
「若要在高聳的堅牆與以卵擊石的雞蛋之間作選擇，我永遠會選擇站在雞蛋那一邊。」
Yes, no matter how right the wall may be and how wrong the egg, I will stand with the egg. Someone else will have to decide what is right and what is wrong; perhaps time or history will decide. If there were a novelist who, for whatever reason, wrote works standing with the wall, of what value would such works be?
是的。不管那高牆多麼的正當，那雞蛋多麼的咎由自取，我總是會站在雞蛋那一邊。就讓其他人來決定是非，或許時間或是歷史會下判斷。但若一個小說家選擇寫出站在高牆那一方的作品，不論他有任何理由，這作品的價值何在？
What is the meaning of this metaphor? In some cases, it is all too simple and clear. Bombers and tanks and rockets and white phosphorus shells are that high, solid wall. The eggs are the unarmed civilians who are crushed and burned and shot by them. This is one meaning of the metaphor.
這代表什麼？在大多數的狀況下，這是很顯而易見的。轟炸機、戰車、火箭與白磷彈是那堵高牆。被壓碎、燒焦、射殺的手無寸鐵的平民則是雞蛋。這是這比喻的一個角度。
This is not all, though. It carries a deeper meaning. Think of it this way. Each of us is, more or less, an egg. Each of us is a unique, irreplaceable soul enclosed in a fragile shell. This is true of me, and it is true of each of you. And each of us, to a greater or lesser degree, is confronting a high, solid wall. The wall has a name: It is The System. The System is supposed to protect us, but sometimes it takes on a life of its own, and then it begins to kill us and cause us to kill others - coldly, efficiently, systematically.
不過，並不是只有一個角度，還有更深的思考。這樣想吧。我們每個人或多或少都是一顆雞蛋。我們都是獨一無二，裝在脆弱容器理的靈魂。對我來說是如此，對諸位來說也是一樣。我們每個人也或多或少，必須面對一堵高牆。這高牆的名字叫做體制。體制本該保護我們，但有時它卻自作主張，開始殘殺我們，甚至讓我們冷血、有效，系統化的殘殺別人。
I have only one reason to write novels, and that is to bring the dignity of the individual soul to the surface and shine a light upon it. The purpose of a story is to sound an alarm, to keep a light trained on The System in order to prevent it from tangling our souls in its web and demeaning them. I fully believe it is the novelist's job to keep trying to clarify the uniqueness of each individual soul by writing stories - stories of life and death, stories of love, stories that make people cry and quake with fear and shake with laughter. This is why we go on, day after day, concocting fictions with utter seriousness.
我寫小說只有一個理由。那就是將個體的靈魂尊嚴暴露在光明之下。故事的目的是在警醒世人，將一道光束照在體系上，避免它將我們的靈魂吞沒，剝奪靈魂的意義。我深信小說家就該揭露每個靈魂的獨特性，藉由故事來釐清它。用生與死的故事，愛的故事，讓人們落淚的故事，讓人們因恐懼而顫抖的故事，讓人們歡笑顫動的故事。這才是我們日復一日嚴肅編織小說的原因。
My father died last year at the age of 90. He was a retired teacher and a part-time Buddhist priest. When he was in graduate school, he was drafted into the army and sent to fight in China. As a child born after the war, I used to see him every morning before breakfast offering up long, deeply-felt prayers at the Buddhist altar in our house. One time I asked him why he did this, and he told me he was praying for the people who had died in the war.
先父在九十歲時過世。他是個退休的教師，兼職的佛教法師。當他在研究所就讀時，他被強制徵召去中國參戰。身為一個戰後出身的小孩，我曾經看著他每天晨起在餐前，於我們家的佛壇前深深的向佛祖祈禱。有次我問他為什麼要這樣做，他告訴我他在替那些死於戰爭中的人們祈禱。
He was praying for all the people who died, he said, both ally and enemy alike. Staring at his back as he knelt at the altar, I seemed to feel the shadow of death hovering around him.
他說，他在替所有犧牲的人們祈禱，包括戰友，包括敵人。看著他跪在佛壇前的背影，我似乎可以看見死亡的陰影包圍著他。
My father died, and with him he took his memories, memories that I can never know. But the presence of death that lurked about him remains in my own memory. It is one of the few things I carry on from him, and one of the most important.
我的父親過世時帶走了他的記憶，我永遠沒機會知道一切。但那被死亡包圍的背影留在我的記憶中。這是我從他身上繼承的少數幾件事物，也是最重要的事物。
I have only one thing I hope to convey to you today. We are all human beings, individuals transcending nationality and race and religion, fragile eggs faced with a solid wall called The System. To all appearances, we have no hope of winning. The wall is too high, too strong - and too cold. If we have any hope of victory at all, it will have to come from our believing in the utter uniqueness and irreplaceability of our own and others' souls and from the warmth we gain by joining souls together.
我今日只想對你傳達一件事。我們都是人類，超越國籍、種族和宗教，都只是一個面對名為體制的堅實高牆的一枚脆弱雞蛋。不論從任何角度來看，我們都毫無勝機。高牆太高、太堅硬，太冰冷。唯一勝過它的可能性只有來自我們將靈魂結為一體，全心相信每個人的獨特和不可取代性所產生的溫暖。
Take a moment to think about this. Each of us possesses a tangible, living soul. The System has no such thing. We must not allow The System to exploit us. We must not allow The System to take on a life of its own. The System did not make us: We made The System.
請各位停下來想一想。我們每個人都擁有一個獨特的，活生生的靈魂。體制卻沒有。我們不能容許體制踐踏我們。我們不能容許體制自行其是。體制並沒有創造我們：是我們創造了體制。
That is all I have to say to you.
這就是我要對各位說的。
I am grateful to have been awarded the Jerusalem Prize. I am grateful that my books are being read by people in many parts of the world. And I am glad to have had the opportunity to speak to you here today.
我很感謝能夠獲得耶路撒冷文學獎。我很感謝世界各地有那麼多的讀者。我很高興有機會向各位發表演說。
Thank you.
謝謝
伸延：
本文來源
高牆與卵：村上春樹耶路撒冷文學獎演說(3)-用語解說
村上春樹小說的情感世界
2011年7月16日星期六
2011年7月14日星期四
MBTI (人格心理測驗)
http://o3o.cc/mbtitest/mbtitest66
估吓我是哪一種性格？ (估中無獎)
(後)
想起短宣的一幕。
當時跟教會去內地短宣，我們準備了類似的心理測驗和當地民眾分享。
坐我後面不遠的中年男士做得很慢，我以為他只是不知怎樣選擇，所以笑說照直覺就行。後來才知是因為他不識字。(他有點尷尬地笑笑)
我呆了一呆。
一直在香港生活，就以為讀書識字是理所當然的。電視上偶爾也會看到呼籲大家資助國內兒童上學的消息，但感覺上距離很遠，看過就過了，也不真當一回事。
後來在香港也遇上類似的情況。
崇拜時身邊的婆婆沒有拿程序表，於是我把自己手上的移近跟她一起看。
她說不用了，我不識字。
我有點不會反應，只會說哦不要緊，笑得尷尬。
回想反應真差/ 笨拙，其實我應該大大方方地說哦不要緊，我們一起看，然後每字/ 句指給她看，而不是像做錯甚麼事那樣尷尬。
這樣比喻可能不太恰當，但感覺有點像有時在街上見到行動不便的人士，我總會保持眼神前視，避免和他們有眼神接觸。但愈想表現自在，就似乎愈不自然。
倒無關乎歧視或是甚麼的，我只是怕他們不高興。這其實也算是一種成見吧，為甚麼覺得他們心靈比較脆弱？或許他們要比我們強不知多少。
估吓我是哪一種性格？ (估中無獎)
(後)
想起短宣的一幕。
當時跟教會去內地短宣，我們準備了類似的心理測驗和當地民眾分享。
坐我後面不遠的中年男士做得很慢，我以為他只是不知怎樣選擇，所以笑說照直覺就行。後來才知是因為他不識字。(他有點尷尬地笑笑)
我呆了一呆。
一直在香港生活，就以為讀書識字是理所當然的。電視上偶爾也會看到呼籲大家資助國內兒童上學的消息，但感覺上距離很遠，看過就過了，也不真當一回事。
後來在香港也遇上類似的情況。
崇拜時身邊的婆婆沒有拿程序表，於是我把自己手上的移近跟她一起看。
她說不用了，我不識字。
我有點不會反應，只會說哦不要緊，笑得尷尬。
回想反應真差/ 笨拙，其實我應該大大方方地說哦不要緊，我們一起看，然後每字/ 句指給她看，而不是像做錯甚麼事那樣尷尬。
這樣比喻可能不太恰當，但感覺有點像有時在街上見到行動不便的人士，我總會保持眼神前視，避免和他們有眼神接觸。但愈想表現自在，就似乎愈不自然。
倒無關乎歧視或是甚麼的，我只是怕他們不高興。這其實也算是一種成見吧，為甚麼覺得他們心靈比較脆弱？或許他們要比我們強不知多少。
思 遠
我披戴你的影子 緊隨你的腳步 走
遍尋有關你的蛛絲馬跡
看你看過的書 喜歡的電影
聽你聽過的講座 回憶的故事
走你走過的路 遇見的景致
我努力抓緊你的片斷
各種 人 物 事 都令我想起你
你彷彿就在身邊
何以總是
捻不成 塑不出 一個完整的你？
原來你 一 直
離
我
很
.
.
.
.
遠
伸延：
元曲《我泥中有你，你泥中有我》
遍尋有關你的蛛絲馬跡
看你看過的書 喜歡的電影
聽你聽過的講座 回憶的故事
走你走過的路 遇見的景致
我努力抓緊你的片斷
各種 人 物 事 都令我想起你
你彷彿就在身邊
何以總是
捻不成 塑不出 一個完整的你？
原來你 一 直
離
我
很
.
.
.
.
遠
伸延：
元曲《我泥中有你，你泥中有我》
2011年7月13日星期三
2011年7月6日星期三
Being a Student Helper
高考放榜，這個星期回舊校做 Helper。
工作的日子時間過得特別快，回家已經是晚上了，眨一眨眼又到睡覺的時候。
工作不算多也不特別難，只是重複做同一種動作，說同一類話。
開始上腦習慣叫人「同學」。「同學呢邊丫。」「同學我幫你。」「同學麻煩果邊出。」
Applicant 樣子都很相似，也許是他們心態/ 年紀/ 經歷相近的關係。
其實我應該不是大他們很多，但已有種上一輩看年青人的感覺。
不久前你還是被管(排隊)的一群，現在卻成了管人的一群。(當然我們上面還有人)
(然後吃飯時又成了被管(排隊)的。)
當自己做 Helper 的時候，發現原來內部行政/ 安排比想像要混亂得多。
安排混亂，後來的申請人面試時間倒比先到的早；
培訓不足，你以為面前一位真能幫忙？可能他一分鐘前才給人臨時調來，不太清楚工作內容，只是硬著頭皮邊學邊做；
口徑不一，各部門或同一部門處理事情亦可能自相矛盾，前一個跟後一個得到的答案不一定相同‥‥‥
說真，如果我當年知道內部運作，一定驚呆。
連我們 Helper 也覺得問題多多。
又不是第一次收生，也不是臨時決定的活動，怎會如此(彷彿)準備不足？
(當然，內裡夾雜很多因素。而其實大部分 Admin 姐姐都很好很樂意幫忙。)
知道多了，多多少少會令人對事/ 部門/ 人失去點信心。
(另)
有位 Helper 很像 Gerald。
與他共事就像與年輕的 Gerald 共事，滿有親切感。
工作的日子時間過得特別快，回家已經是晚上了，眨一眨眼又到睡覺的時候。
工作不算多也不特別難，只是重複做同一種動作，說同一類話。
開始上腦習慣叫人「同學」。「同學呢邊丫。」「同學我幫你。」「同學麻煩果邊出。」
Applicant 樣子都很相似，也許是他們心態/ 年紀/ 經歷相近的關係。
其實我應該不是大他們很多，但已有種上一輩看年青人的感覺。
不久前你還是被管(排隊)的一群，現在卻成了管人的一群。(當然我們上面還有人)
(然後吃飯時又成了被管(排隊)的。)
當自己做 Helper 的時候，發現原來內部行政/ 安排比想像要混亂得多。
安排混亂，後來的申請人面試時間倒比先到的早；
培訓不足，你以為面前一位真能幫忙？可能他一分鐘前才給人臨時調來，不太清楚工作內容，只是硬著頭皮邊學邊做；
口徑不一，各部門或同一部門處理事情亦可能自相矛盾，前一個跟後一個得到的答案不一定相同‥‥‥
說真，如果我當年知道內部運作，一定驚呆。
連我們 Helper 也覺得問題多多。
又不是第一次收生，也不是臨時決定的活動，怎會如此(彷彿)準備不足？
(當然，內裡夾雜很多因素。而其實大部分 Admin 姐姐都很好很樂意幫忙。)
知道多了，多多少少會令人對事/ 部門/ 人失去點信心。
(另)
有位 Helper 很像 Gerald。
與他共事就像與年輕的 Gerald 共事，滿有親切感。
2011年7月2日星期六
500 Days of Summer
Watched 500 Days of Summer tonight.
It doesn't have a happy ending, but it tells a story of real life.
It doesn't have a happy ending, but it tells a story of real life.
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